Resurrected

Hi everyone! This year began for me with a small drinking party with my friends, some of the closest ones (who are sure to comment) and I realized that when I have so many great people to care about me, why should I be scared. Yes, I have been scared, scared since I was a kid, scared to got out of bounds, scared to do things on my own, scared to accept my weaknesses, scared to accept my failures, scared to fight for, and scared to display my feelings. But no, not anymore.

There are times when we should just listen to our hearts, yet in my case, my mind always wins over. This time I decided, let me free the bird. Let my heart do whatever it desires whatever be the outcome. You know what I have always been alone. Yeah, my parents were always there for me, but there are somethings, somethings which only can be shared with your best friends. In my case, I had many and I have made many now too, still I wasn’t able to talk because I was always scared.

I still remember the day I told my dad about having a crush. Yes, I did that because at that point there were so many things in front of me, if I hadn’t asked him, I would’ve strayed. My parents were supportive and they always are. A talk with them made me realize, the answer to all questions is with me and I have to choose. And I can say without regrets that all my decisions are more responsible since then. It was then I decided that no matter what happens, I will not do anything behind my parents back. I love them and trust is the basis of Love.

It was on 31^st last month, i.e. New Year’s eve that I had resolved that from now on I won’t be scared. I had decided that maybe the first thing to do is accept my weakness. I decided to tell my school-time crushes that I once had a crush on them, not because I still like them but because I wanted to do something brave. You can imagine how difficult it can be to do this. A friend of mine said that I liked them once and this is no reason to just go and “stupidly” say this to them. I was still adamant even after her advice. But you know what, fate intervened. I was unable to get a call to any of my school time crushes for the next two three days and you know what realization dawned on my then? That how hard we try to do decide, to take our life in our hands, “Fate”, “Destiny” does play a major part in controlling our life. Whatever is meant to happen will happen and whatever is not will not.

You know what I did to get over my crushes? I used my passion to get through my goals. Be it the boards (yes, both of them) or the JEE. Yes, there was this girl whom I saw at coaching center who is partly responsible for my selection. She was always in my thoughts for some time and I wasn’t able to concentrate. There was something I did to take her out of mind. I wrote a poem, just because I wanted her out of my head. And this succeeded. Very few people have gone through this poem written two years back. It has been my only attempt in poetry till now. I still don’t know for sure what her name was but I clearly remember her face because of what I captured in this poem of mine. So just go through this and enjoy, even though I had published this on my blog a while ago in my previous post. Comments are always welcome, especially about the poem ‘coz I am thinking of writing another.

What is it?

Everytime I see you,

My heart misses a beat,

Your black eyes,

Your pink cheeks,

Make me think deep.

Though I know not your name,

Neither do you know mine,

But there is something about you

That strikes my eyes.

I think it is love,

But sometimes it is not,

Bcoz how could it be

When I know nothing about.

Still when I sit lonely

In my room,

Your silhouette passes in my mind.

Those moments take long to pass,

When I yearn to see

You chatting with your friends,

Oh! What should I do?

What can I do?

I dare not talk

For fear of losing your

Sightings.

I wish I could read

Your mind or at

Least know your feelings.

But there is still something

About your eyes

That attracts me,

They speak,

They sing,

They dance,

In front of me

But is it my imagination?

How can such a beautiful

Girl have hots for me.

I am nothing,

Just a dreamer

Who wants to expand

The world,

A loner, who lives

In his room

Only on self-belief.

But maybe you will

Believe in me.

I am not asking

love for love, if it is so,

I am free to love

Anyone and so are you,

I don’t ask anything in return.

I know not its love or not,

But one thing is for sure,

If this is love and

Even if its unrequited,

You will remain in my

Heart forever and ever.